Dealing with a broken heart is not fun. Even though the organ pumping blood is not literally broken, it can feel that way. The pieces drift. You wonder how they can be put together as if it’s a jigsaw puzzle that comes with a helpful image. Unfortunately, most of the hearts we see don’t provide a guideline.
The worst part is waiting for the parts to mend, and letting time do the work. Sometimes little steps can do the trick, however, and start the process. Here are some that I’ve gathered when some ice cream isn’t sufficient.
- Talk about it with people you trust – It may take a while to go through the details, to identify how the hurt has spread and affected areas that you love. Even so, talking about it helps.
- Stop talking about it with people who were sympathetic but are telling you to move on and they don’t want to hear about it. You have to respect boundaries, especially knowing your own limits for others’ stresses Plus, subsequent responses won’t make you feel better.
- Find healthy outlets for your sadness and anger – Whether it’s taking a yoga class, painting, or spending the night with trusted family members. Sometimes even trying a new hobby can help. Concocting new recipes, for example, is a way to take stuff off the brain.
- Trust comfort books, emotive songs, and cute videos. You’d be surprised at the power of a short cat clip to lift a mood. Singing along to your favorite song helps lift the bad feelings for a short while.
- Accept the rebound status; you are searching for something new, but that permanence may not come easily. You may be drawn to different alternatives that seem dangerous. Drink in the sense of suspicion that all will not be well and accept the uncertainty. If you’re not ready for the latter, then do your best to prepare accordingly.
- Open yourself to new experiences – You don’t need to take large risks, but little ones can help. See a concert that has interested you peripherally. Make plans to race with coffins. And if you don’t have time to do either, planning still helps
2020 is a new year that is coming all too soon. We ideally will get a new fresh start, and the ability to deal with what has been helpful, or hurtful. I hope you all get to mend, and grow.